Wonderful Quotes for Living!

Last weekend I attended a Women's Retreat with 37 women from my church. We had a great time and a very good speaker who had lots of great quotes - here are a few.

We all live far more meaningful lives than we know. Uncovering this meaning does not require us to live differently but to see life differently. Rachel Naomi Remen

Like a path through the forest Sabbath creates a marker for ourselves so, if we are lost, we can find out way back to our center. Remember the Sabbath means remember that everything you have received is a blessing. Remember to delight in your life, in the fruits of your labor. Remember to stop and offer thanks for the wonder of it. Wayne Muller

Every morning you rededicate yourself to your path in order not to go astray. Before going to sleep at night, take a few minutes to review the day. Did I live in the direction of my ideals today? If you see that you took two or three steps in that direction, that is good enough. If you did not, say to yourself, I'll do better tomorrow. The next morning when you wake up, resolve to take solid steps in the direction of your ideals. Don't compare yourself with others. Just look to see whether you are going in the direction you cherish. Thich Nhat Hanh

Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself? Tao Te Ching

An anthropologist, following a primitive tribe in Peru, watched as they moved every day for awhile. Then they stopped for awhile and he asked them why. They said they need the time of rest so that their souls can catch up.

The Bridge to New Life

Recently as I walked in the park, I was dealing with my feelings of deep grief again. I came to the little bridge that had been built over the creek, an open metal grate kind of bridge that allows you to see down into the depths, a type of bridge that has always frightened me when it was really high, like a drawbridge over some bay that is a hundred feet above the water or a deep ravine. Here it was not very high or frightening but it made me contemplate some thoughts about where I am in life and what I am dealing with. I see myself on a bridge, trying to cross over into a new integration of the grief over Shane's death and general regrets about things undone in life - the death of dreams - to some kind of reconciled life where I can make plans for a future. I've been stalled in my path and I need to cross this bridge. But this bridge allows me to see into the abyss and I am afraid to look at the depths of my fears, afraid to really face what has happened and how much my life has changed. The open grate looks like too fragile a support to hold me up - if I look into the depths, will I fall? My support system is the Lord - therefore it will hold if I trust it, but my fears are irrational and I am trying to get over it. Taking small baby steps, walking slowly, looking at the abyss in small doses. What is in the abyss? Death, and all the fears that humans associate with it. Shane's death, in particular, the details of it, the horror of it, which leads to fears of future losses, yet at the same time reassures me that I will somehow cope. It is this sense that I have entered new territory, where losses become regular occurrences and I don't know if I can stand to look that reality in the face. I have to cross this bridge. I have to move into acceptance of a new life. Recent dreams about going through passages where doors locked me behind so that I could not go back to where I was have confirmed my understanding that I have to cross this bridge. I have taken a few steps but my sense is that I still have quite a length of bridge to walk, walking "that lonesome valley" - but in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil! That will be my cry as a warrior who must push past fear to be victorious.

New Life July 18

Since I last wrote, right after that we got a contract on the house and that process is moving along. But this has still been a very sad month or two for me. I have been going to some counseling, trying to come to terms with how I feel right now, and progress is being made there as well. Taught a class last night, the second in a series of 2, on establishing a nonprofit. I had such dreads about it, and it wasn't as much fun as the eBay class, but at the end last night I got thanks from the students and generally good evaluations. I guess I will do it again, but I have just felt overwhelmed with lots of things to prepare for - I also agreed to do a presentation to teachers at Summer Conference next week, and I really have nothing to say (God help me find something interesting!). Donald and I went birdwatching at the swamp on shady Grove yesterday morning and I saw a Black Crowned Night Heron - that was good. And some pink swamp mallow flowers that were just gorgeous - that swamp is so pretty! This weekend I agreed to go with Carla to meet our cousins in chattanooga - I hope that turns out well - Libby has recently lost her husband, so maybe this will be good for her. Mostly right now I am just looking forward to finishing the house closing and getting on with making some plans from there - I feel like we have been on hold for more than a year - yet we had a wedding! Oh, well, life does move along, despite everything!

Life goes on

Si I have not written a word in two months - what have I been doing? Slogging through life, wondering what the next stage will bring, whether anything interesting will happen. We are in a holding pattern, depressed over various situations such as the southside house not selling, and just blah. Still, there are good things every day. I am finally having time to finish some quilting projects started long ago. We went up to the Lodge last Friday night and enjoyed that as always - the weather was great. Sunday night we had Wes and Amanda over for dinner and we all love them. But truly, we are all tense and angry and wondering what to attribute that to. I have made an appointment with the grief counselor for Wednesday, just wanting to talk to someone, trying to decipher whether a lot of the feeling really relate back to that. It seems like most everyone I know is currently disturbed. Except Jerry, I guess, - we ate with her and Jerome Saturday and she seems very happy. And while I am happy for her, I had hoped to have someone there that I could cry with, and that is not possible. I cried a couple of times yesterday - once when I heard a piece on NPR about a group of women who meet together regularly to talk about their sons who have died in the war - it made me wish so bad that I had someone to share that with. Donald and I are going to the cemetery this morning - that may not help but I just feel like I need to. After crying so much yesterday I felt sick and wimpy, and still feel rough this morning, but hope that enough crying will help ease some of the bad feelings - we will see.

Working on a Wedding Dress - by Mom

Working on a wedding dress is kind of like constructing a building (or a life!). This is the fourth one I've made (I made Carla's, Sierra's, and Alison's), and there are some elements in common that seem metaphorical to me. Parts of each construction are very solid and supportive. For Ashley we have a heavy fabric that will wrap tightly around her and contains boning to be supportive. We have a big crinoline that will fluff out that heaviness and make it more airy. These parts are like the solid parts from which we build our lives, things we can lean on or into, things we know will hold up against the vicissitudes of real life. We try to build these things to be beautiful also, but they are solid. Other parts, like the bolero I have been working on this morning, are as gossamer as butterfly wings. The bolero and the beaded fabric are the stuff of dreams, meant only to be beautiful. Much of the wedding finery and the wedding process is like the bolero - they are designed to symbolize our dreams and only to last long enough to get us through this lovely transition. Such is life - gossamer dreams as trimming on a solid foundation that supports us through life!

The Sorrow and the Smile posted by Ashley

Everything bursting with beauty and life. A new flower, new animal, new breeze across each spring day as it comes. And yesterday the sorrow. In the midst of the wedding preparations, spring, love, family and fishing: sorrow. Shane and I stole away to Black Creek in the dark and watched the glittering waters under the park's lights. Our feet cold where we slipped in darkness when we crossed the creek. And he wants to know why I am so sad today. And I want to know why I am so sad today. Ultimately my brother, my sweet Shane, in my head. Many things have passed and I look forward not backward to the best of my ability. I weep aside night's creek and Shane just rocks me gently. Never angry at my contradictions nor frightened by my dark side. Only this great gift to ease this sorrow that is a part of me as much as any joy can be. I don't drink it away; I don't drug it away. I feel it fully for a moment and then turn my face away with will towards my love's smile.

The Ultimate Wild Goose Chase - by Mom

Donald and I went up to The Lodge at Locust Fork to retreat and enjoy a night in the wild. It was a beautiful 24 hours! Four great blue herons flew into the trees right at dusk, looking like ancient pterosaurs. We sat out back in the total dark and listened to the night sounds and watched the moon and stars. I think we heard a Whipporwill even though I know they shouldn't be this far south. We awoke to an amazing bird chorus and a sunrise as gorgeous as the sunset the night before. I was thinking today that "The Property", as we called it so long, is the ultimate wild goose. It has been a place to hang our dreams for quite a few years. It has yielded returns more spiritual than physical, even though much physical labor has gone into it. Mostly we relaxed and enjoyed our retreat but this morning we went down to the river and there was work to do, as always. Dad cut a tree off the path and used the DR to cut the path. I used the nippers for awhile and tried to get some of the privet cut that blocks that beautiful back path where all the wildflowers bloom. The privet is going to hurt the wildflowers eventually. But I couldn't even get enough cut to get all the way through. Constant pruning, cutting, just to survive. It's a place that will never be domesticated, and surely we knew that - didn't we? I was thinking about what I had written earlier about our ancestors and their hard-scrabble existence - did we inherit genes that allow us to draw sustenance out of a place this raw and harsh? Along with it were we given some gift that lets us see the wonder and beauty all among the privet and kudzu? In a recent book I read, on theological stuff, the author quoted some lines from a Bruce Cockburn song, something like "here I am after all these years, bowing before this beauty, understanding nothing". That about says it all.
But also I sat and watched the river flow this morning and these lines came to me:

As Hulseys,
The River takes us down.
We flow through space and time
To be reborn
Into another world.
Some of us must come back.

In sensing the glory that lies behind it and ahead,
We glean intimations of divine immortality.
Forced to return
To the unnatural, the unspiritual world,
Fragments of what the River teaches us
Cling to our hearts and sustain joy.
So we hang our dreams and invest our faith
In that eternal flow.